We Dish on Axel!!!!

Arts_Girl: Hey, Rosa! It's great to see you!

Rosa: ...Thanks!

Arts_Girl: Well, let's cut straight to chase. Swedish tabloids have lately linked YOU with Axel. Is there any truth to this rumor?

Rosa: No! What idiot told you that?

Arts_Girl: Well, a certain person who happens to write My Name is Birger.

Rosa: Well, WHY did you listen to Birger? He doesn't know anything. The guy once tried to make best friends with a ferocious bear in a three ring circuis. That's a funny, story, actually. You see, Birger had just been dying for a cupcake that day, but...

Arts_Girl: Yes, well, I hate to be rude, but this interview is sort of your take on Axel, not on Birger's relationship with a bear.

Rosa: Oh right! Sorry.

Arts_Girl: So... tell us. Can you summarize Axel's entire personality in one word?

Rosa: Bossy.

Arts_Girl: Hrm, I don't think he'll appreciate that. That's bound to end up on his blog. But oh well! This is your show, not his. What does he enjoy?

Rosa: Hrm, that hard to say. All he ever does is obsess about capturing Randy, so I guess he likes to obsess. Even when we stop time traveling to rest, he doesn't do anything but work in that stupid lab in the CIA looking at a computer. He likes to be a know-it-all.

Arts_Girl: You heard it here first! Axel likes to obsess, work, be a know-it-all, and boss people around! Thanks Rosa!

Rosa: Thank you.

Being A Guy

Arts_Girl: So Rosa, please tell... is it hard being a guy?

Rosa: ... Do you mean was it hard to be a guy... cuz I'm a girl now...

Arts_Girl: Ah. Yes, you know, that's what I meant...

Rosa: Well, let's see... you stank a lot more but I'm naturally a tomboy so it wasn't that hard.

Arts_Girl: ... Yeah, well, this interview has to be longer than that plus I didn't prepare any more questions (I woke up like a half an hour ago.)

Rosa: Hrm... well, I guess it was hard not to comment on a lot of the shoes they wore. I mean, come on! Buckles! What was that? The 1600s? Oh, yeah...

Arts_Girl: Yes, well, things were definitely last season back then.

Rosa: You can say that again. And what about the white hair? I mean, what a relief most of the guys on board the Kalmar Nyckel weren't rich enough to buy them! I mean what're you trying to say with a powdered wig? That you're old? You spilled confectioner sugar all over yourself that morning? It was gross.

Arts_Girl: Would you have given up your identity if someone had made you wear one of those wigs?

Rosa: DUH! I mean, wouldn't you?

Arts_Girl: I don't know, I've never been in one of those situations. But I don't know... wouldn't that put you in a bad position? Wasn't that like against the law or something?

Rosa: I dunno... probably. Yeah, well, living in a more liberal time period has definitely taken a toll on me. I don't know what I'd do if I had to live in a sexist, medieval world again.

Arts_Girl: I bet. So, what're you off to do now?

Rosa: Um... I don't really know. I guess I'm probably going off to some random time period to try (and most likely fail) to recapture Randy. You know? I'd really like to capture Randy in Paris. In the 1940s. That would be really cool.

Arts_Girl: Wow... jealousy... anyway, that's all the time we have for today! Thanks for coming on, Rosa!

Rosa: Thank you Arts_Girl!

Driving in Germany

Arts_Girl: So, Rosa, tell us about this video.

Rosa: I found it online... Axel, Birger, and I were in a car chase with Randy. Apparently, some people were fed up with speeding in that area, so they decided to put a home-made speed hump in the area. You don't have to speak German to get the point.

Arts_Girl: Wow! So what happened?

Rosa: Well, we managed to teleport to a different time before we were all killed, but we lost Randy.

Arts_Girl: Who was driving?

Rosa: Birger.

Arts_Girl: Why didn't I guess?

Rosa Talks "ME"

(On the left: The cover of Rosa's new book, entitled: ME)

Arts_Girl: It's so wonderful to have you on our show! So, Rosa, tell us about your new book. What's it about?

Rosa: Well, as the title suggests, it talks about me. About my struggles in youth, all the lies I've had to make to get where I am, and how pitiful it is that I am where I am.

Arts_Girl: Mm-hm. So tell us about ME.

Rosa: Well, I decided to write it when I found out that Birger was literate and had been recording his story. Well, no, actually, what really set me of was when I visited www.mynameisbirger.blogspot.com ... you see, I was amazed that this person who seemed so illiterate had actually made his own blog... and it was getting a reasonable amount of traffic! And Birger's story wasn't nearly so epic as my own, so I figured I better record my story while I'm still in the time era where word processers are available!

Arts_Girl: Can you explain that statement?

Rosa: Well, I don't want to give a lot of my book away, but really, there is a large portion about what I'm doing right now. When Birger allowed the time travel remote to fall into Randy's evil hands, Axel, Birger and I decided to dedicate our lives to bring him to justice. It's been rather hard, since he has a time travel remote and can be everywhere at once, but we track him all the same. But it requires so much jumping around through time that sometimes I'm traveling to Mars on a one-hour flight and sometimes I'm trying to converse with cavemen!

Arts_Girl: Fascinating! But tell me: How do you find "me time" when traveling around in a vortex of time?

Rosa: It's hard, I admit, but sometimes I have to force Axel to give us a break. I mean, come on! We all need a little bit of time just to relax! We'd all go insane, otherwise. Well, actually, that time has already come for we time-travelers...

Arts_Girl: Oh, wonderful! We're out of time, though. But we'll see you again soon on talking ME!

Rosa's View on Birger

Arts_Girl: So, Rosa, tell us... what do you think of Birger?

Rosa: Well, he's not the brightest bulb on the tree...

Arts_Girl: We're here for accuracy, sweetie. Don't make any understatements. I've been tracking Birger (www.amireallystalkingbirger.blogspot.com) so I think that might be somewhat of an untrue statement.

Rosa: Alright, fine, the guy's the dumbest person I've ever met.

Arts_Girl: There we go! So, what was it like, working with a stupid, famous person?

Rosa: Well, I'll tell you the truth, I'd rather work with Tom Cruise, but it's still been a... memorable experience, working with Birger.

Arts_Girl: Yeah, it probably was. But you really haven't told us about the guy underneath the big, fat shell!

Rosa: I guess he's not all bad. He doesn't have a bad purpose. I wouldn't say he actually HAS a purpose, to tell the truth. Unless his purpose is messing up. He does that A LOT.

Arts_Girl: Can you tell us about one of his biggest mistakes?

Rosa: Oh, boy, where do I start? Hmmm... Oh, yes. I know. The re-election of George W. Bush was up there, and so was the dissapearance of Amelia Earhart, but I'd say the worst mistake of all time was when he let Randy get ahold of the remote. Now Randy is the most powerful stalker in the world. And he's pretty much immortal.

Arts_Girl: Awful! Rosa, that's fascinating, but I'm afraid we have to end the interview now. We'll interview you later on! Thank you!

Rosa: Thank you, Arts_Girl.